it's in the stars

I wrote these after the loss of a good friend. Rereading them makes me remember how awful winter break was, but how much I learned from then and how much I love my best friends who I know will always be there for me...


This entire semester I started to really question my faith in any kind of higher being. Not really the "God" you think about when you go to church but more so the force behind everything, that’s compelling us to keep going. I guess I should mention that I'm extremely skeptical about religion/faith (if you can't tell...). But, I’m a huge believe in astrology. Always have, and certainly always will be. About two weeks ago in DC, a person was evicted from their house and I was randomly on the street so I decided to look through some of the stuff that was there. The very first book I picked up was called the Encyclopedia of Astrology. I picked it up, and the next day realized how much truth there is in astrology. At the beginning of the book are quotes from brilliant men like Einstein and Sir Issac Newton commenting on how Astrology drives our lives.
Anyways tonight I was outside. Standing in the middle of my driveway in the freezing cold looking up at the stars. It was a perfect night tonight for looking at the stars. I see shooting stars quite often, and they mean A LOT to me. But tonight I was standing there, upset and frustrated, with my faith slowly slipping away. I was about to give up and walk inside, hopeless. Then out of nowhere, there it was. Right in front of my eyes, a shooting star. Crazy right?? It was so powerful though, I can't even begin to explain what the feeling was like... But when people say it’s in the stars, it's for a reason. trust me. <3



This is a separate note, but I feel like it's related to the first.


My brother told me that a couple weeks ago something like this….. “When you get older, you start to see how you’ll grow apart from a lot of people. Especially ones you never thought you’d grow apart from.” And it sucks, there is no way around it…But the thing to realize is you have to see that there is never any love lost, it’s just that the fork in the road is leading you in different directions. And sometimes you’ll grow back into people you never thought you’d talk to again. I never thought I'd be in the situation I'm in right now. I grew apart from soooo many people I was so close to. And I really want nothing to do with them anymore. But at the same time, I have so many new people in my life right now that I would never want to give them up, for anything. It’s strange how life works, but there’s no point questioning it, it’s too short. I am definitely not one to tell someone what to do because I make sooooo many mistakes. I do a lot of stupid things, and I don’t think about the consequences. Getting hurt sucks, and I continually make the same dumb decisions. But, everything always falls back into place. I’m still convinced everything is in the stars. I get really frustrated a lot because I tend to meet people who don’t really listen to what I’m saying. But, over this break, I’ve had conversations with the best people, and I’ve realized that…..there really are people that are out there that will be there for you. It’s hard to find them, but when you do….you’ll know :)